In the moment
Hi everyone! This, I find, is always the most difficult part of writing: how to begin? Do I start with a casual, yet upbeat greeting welcoming new readers to my page or should I demand likes and shares in exchange for more posts? No, I've decided 'likes' and 'shares' are not for me. So instead I thought that I would like to tell you a little bit about myself before I start spouting my opinions on specific subjects which ultimately have nothing whatsoever to do with me but are interesting nonetheless.
I'm a student and have recently experienced the dreaded reception of my AS-Level results. To think that one year's hard work all boils down to a single envelope containing a few letters on a page that will determine the next few years of your life - oh the joys of exams. As always, there's people who do so well that they can hardly contain their happiness which is amazing and I'm happy for them; yet, I simultaneously empathise with those who bottom lips quiver, eyebrows arch, and faces fall as their eyes intently scan the paper that seems to wilt in front of them. Witnessing such disappointment in some of my closest friends, I can't help but feel their pain. My friend, lets call her Sam, one of the most kind-hearted and compassionate people I've ever had the privilege to know, is an example of this. When I spoke to her on the phone the other day she sounded upset and dejected. I've found that time, however, can heal all sorts of wounds for she is now invigorated, her energy and optimism replenished and her determination to succeed soaring once again.
So when people ask me the question, 'how did you go with your results?', I am unsure of what to say. Do I tell them what grades I achieved and let them judge me based on some exams (which were taken under a pressurised and tense environment) and the standards of everyone else's performance, or do I remain ambiguous and say I did 'okay'? I think that the social pressures exerted on teenagers to do well is unhealthy and near the point of ridiculousness. How uncomfortable would you feel if everywhere you went, someone asked you what grades you got accompanied with a pitiful pat on the shoulder saying 'you can always retake them you know'? That is not comforting despite their good intentions. The prospect of having to retake an exam fills me with despair knowing that I might have to go through stress, frustration and then the chance of failure again. It is a vicious cycle. Yet these people are only trying to make me smile, to lift my spirits without realising that they're making me despair more. The sentiment and kindness is appreciated but I first implore you to think of the implications behind what you are saying.
Anyway, enough about exam results, I'm sure you're bored with my lengthy exam moans by now!
The purpose of this blog is really to put across some of the ideas that I have been carrying around with me for a while now but have never had the time to express whether they are concerning exams, travel, sport, culture, etc, anything that pops into my mind really. This is why I entitled my blog 'In the moment' as you never know, a lot can happen in one moment, but then it is gone and you can never retrieve it. But perhaps writing about it can be an attempt to hold on, to grasp feelings and emotions before they flit away and are forgotten.
So here's to many more moments, I hope they're good!
Maddy
